What’s Funny?

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Purpose:

To help you decide what you are and aren’t okay with when it comes to jokes (specifically personal jabs).

Instructions:

Step 1: Create a Green, Yellow, and Red List

Start by sorting joke topics into three categories.

(These examples come from Juliana)

Green:

These are topics that feel light, safe, and easy to laugh at.

Example:

Elijah and I can laugh about the times I completely forgot to season food while cooking.

Yellow:

These are topics that might be okay depending on who’s saying it and how well they know you.

Example:

Jokes about my hobbies and interests — I’m fine laughing about them with people I’m close to, but from others it can feel like they’re mocking what I care about.

Red:

These are topics that always feel hurtful, no matter who says them or how they frame it.

Example:

Any joke calling me stupid or dumb.

Step 2: Come Up With Template Responses

Once you know your yellow and red zones, the next challenge is knowing what to say in the moment, especially when you’re caught off guard.

So take some time to come up with responses that feel natural, honest, and true to you.

Examples:

“That’s not something I want to joke about.”
“I’d rather not laugh about that.”
“Can we leave that one alone?”

Final Thoughts:

You don’t have to justify, argue, defend, or explain your boundary.

Safe people will hear the seriousness or nervousness in your tone and respect it.