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The Translation App

Hi, it’s Juliana!

One of the most important things you need to heal is witnessing.

This is the process of acknowledging and accepting that what you are going through or have gone through is real—and that how you feel about it makes sense.

But it’s really hard to do because this type of abuse is so covert, subtle, and confusing that you don’t always have the words to explain what happened to you.

An exercise our community likes to use to overcome this is called the “Translation App.”

The Translation App

Step 1: Create Two Columns

Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.

Step 2: Fill Out Your Translations

On the left side, write what you want to say—the way it usually comes out.

On the right side, write what’s happening beneath the surface.

For example:

On the left: 

“They said I’m too sensitive.”

On the right: 

“They dismissed my feelings so they wouldn’t have to acknowledge how they were treating me.”

On the left: 

“They said I’m always making things about me.”

On the right: 

“They shamed me for expressing my needs so I’d focus on theirs.”

Step 3: Get Help

I’m not going to lie, you need a decent understanding of narcissistic abuse to do this exercise.

So, it’s a good idea to do as much research as you can about it.

You can use Google, YouTube, books, podcasts, the mental health professional you’re working with, ChatGPT, Reddit, our community—whatever works for you.

But the goal with each translation is to answer: 

“What were they really trying to do in that moment?”

Pro Tip:

If you use ChatGPT, you can ask: 

“When a narcissistic person says ‘[blank]’ or does ‘[blank]’, what are they really trying to do? What’s going on underneath the surface?”

It’s always a good idea to verify the response it gives you. 

But in my experience, it does a really good job at helping you name what’s going on.

Final Thoughts:

The goal of this exercise is to translate as much as you can.

Because when you find the words for what you’ve experienced, it stops being a mess in your head and becomes something you can explain to yourself and others.

To your healing,

Juliana