What I Won’t Tolerate

Purpose:

If you want to stop being angry at the narcissist — or the whole situation — this is for you.

The anger you’re feeling will go away when it stops being a painful reminder of what happened and becomes a source of strength for moving forward.

Think of your anger as an army — and you as the General.

The General’s job is to protect your city (you).

When there’s no wall, the army has to rush out at every alarm — a memory, a message, a thought — so you’re left feeling stuck in constant rage and irritability.

Your job as General isn’t to send more soldiers. It’s to build the wall: your boundaries.
Boundaries are who gets access, what’s okay / not okay, and what happens if a line is crossed.

Because once the wall is built, the army (your anger) doesn’t need to rage anymore — it can finally settle into peace and self-trust.
Because you — your city — is safe now.

This exercise is designed to help you begin building that wall by getting clear on what you will and won’t tolerate — and how you’ll hold that new standard.

Instructions:

Step 1: What won’t you tolerate anymore?

Write a list of things you will no longer tolerate in your relationships.

Example:

– The silent treatment

Step 2: How will you hold that boundary?

For each item on your list, write the boundaries you’ll set before, during, and after it happens.

Example:

Before:

I will tell people I want direct communication in my relationships.

During:

If someone gives me the silent treatment, I’ll name it:

“I don’t do silent treatment. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.”

Then I’ll focus my energy elsewhere instead of chasing connection.

After:

I’ll remind them that I’ve asked for direct communication. If they do it again in the future, I’ll consider distancing myself and/or ending the relationship.

Final Thoughts:

This is just the first step toward releasing the anger you’re feeling.

There’s likely a lot more healing work that may still need to be done.

But that’s okay, keep this list updated.

It’s important work, not just for releasing anger, but for healing in general.