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Keeping Track of Your Pain

Purpose:

Narcissists are really good at playing the victim.

They flip the script, and suddenly you’ve forgotten how much pain you’re actually in.

So, the goal of this exercise is to keep track of your pain.

Instructions:

Create a list of how being in a relationship with this person has affected you emotionally, physically, financially, psychologically, socially, and spiritually.

For example, you might write or type things like:

• “I feel nauseous because I’m so anxious.”
• “I have trouble sleeping at night.”
• “I end up spending money I don’t really have.”
• “I constantly question myself.”
• “I feel isolated from my friends and family.”
• “I feel like I’m failing at what my faith asks of me.”

Final Thoughts:

Keep this list somewhere close.

The next time they play the victim, take it out and read it.

(Not in front of them — find somewhere safe and private.)

Doing this can help you protect yourself against this type of manipulation.

It shifts you out of “I’m hurting them” and into “They’re hurting me.”

Note:

We added short examples to save space.

But please feel free to write as much as you’re comfortable with.

In our opinion, the more detail, the better.