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How to Overcome Anger (At Yourself)

Hey! My name is Ellen J. Biros.

I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Therapist from Georgia.

In this class, I will guide you through five strategies for overcoming the anger (at yourself) that narcissistic abuse causes.

  • Warning: The content on this page discusses narcissism and narcissistic abuse. This subject may be triggering for some people. If you find yourself feeling triggered, please click here to watch our Trigger/Flashback Protocol.

Ellen J. Biros’ Strategies

We recommend using If/When-Then Plans to implement Ellen J. Biros’ advice effectively. Please click here to learn more about this research-backed approach.

First Strategy: Check-In with Your Emotions

Resource Alert

To help you put this strategy into practice, we’ve created a recap of Ellen J. Biros’ advice. Give it a try – it’s designed to support your journey.

Question 1: What happens to my body when I feel anger?

Question 2: What am I thinking about when I am angry?

Question 3: How do I behave as a result of this anger?

Once you recognize how anger manifests for you, follow these steps to tune into your body and emotions.

Pause: Stop what you’re doing.

Find Quiet: Sit quietly for a short period of time.

Body Awareness: Turn your attention inward and ask your body how it feels.

Body Scan for Tension: Notice if you have any tension in your body.

Breathing Check: Notice your breathing patterns. Are you holding your breath?

Behavior Observation: Reflect on any behaviors you might engage in due to anger.

Emotional Check-In: Pay attention to the emotions you are feeling.

Thought Analysis: Can you stay focused, or do you have racing thoughts?

Pro Tip: If you notice any physical signs of tension or anxiety, use a breathing technique. 


Second Strategy: The Four-Square Breathing

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Resource Alert

To help you put this strategy into practice, we’ve created a recap of Ellen J. Biros’ advice. Give it a try – it’s designed to support your journey.

1.) Breathe in through your mouth for a count of four.

2.) Hold your breath for a count of four.

3.) Breathe out through your nose for a count of four.

4.) Hold your breath for a count of four.

5.) Repeat this process as many times as you need.


Third Strategy: Thought-Stopping

Fourth Strategy: Grounding

Fifth Strategy: Self-Compassion Pause

Community discussion

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