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Cognitive Dissonance

Definition:

You experience mental discomfort because:

A.) You’re holding two or more conflicting beliefs, attitudes, or values.

Example: You believe the narcissist loves you, but acknowledge their actions show they don’t.

B.) Your behavior doesn’t match what you believe.

Example: You believe you deserve respect, but tolerate their disrespect.

To ease this discomfort, you:

  • Make excuses.
  • Minimize the severity of the conflict.
  • Or ignore information that proves you wrong.

Example: You tell yourself they’re only acting this way because of stress.

What to Do:

1.) You need to identify what’s causing your cognitive dissonance.

2.) You need to acknowledge and accept the reality of the situation.

3.) You need to practice aligning your thoughts, feelings, and actions with that reality.

Why:

When you know the cause of your cognitive dissonance, you get a better idea of what you need to focus on when practicing and how to reduce your exposure to the things that trigger it.

Important: It’s a good idea to also look through the examples in the “How to Do It” section to see what this approach looks like in real life.

Cognitive dissonance is a normal human experience.

But some people are better at responding to it than others.

There are many reasons for this, one of them being narcissistic abuse.

If you’ve experienced it, you may struggle with cognitive dissonance more than someone who hasn’t.

But don’t think of it as something that’s “wrong” with you, because it isn’t.

It’s a skill you get to build, not a flaw you have to carry.

And skills are something anyone can build with practice.

Important: It’s a good idea to also look through the examples in the “How to Do It” section to see what this approach looks like in real life.

Your cognitive dissonance isn’t going to disappear overnight.

So it’s important to use healthy coping strategies when it comes up.

That way you can move through it instead of getting stuck in it.

Important: It’s a good idea to also look through the examples in the “How to Do It” section to see what this approach looks like in real life.

How to Do It:

These are examples of how other members of Unfilteredd have applied this in their own lives.

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Tips and Insights from the Community:

These are tips and insights from other members of Unfilteredd about how to overcome cognitive dissonance.

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