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How to Reconnect with Your Core Values

Hey! My name is Jenni McBride McNamara.

I’m a Marriage & Family Therapist from Minnesota.

In this class, I will guide you through five strategies for reconnecting with your core values after experiencing narcissistic abuse.

  • Warning: The content on this page discusses narcissism and narcissistic abuse. This subject may be triggering for some people. If you find yourself feeling triggered, please click here to watch our Trigger/Flashback Protocol.

Jenni McBride McNamara’s Strategies

We recommend using If/When-Then Plans to implement Jenni McBride McNamara’s advice effectively. Please click here to learn more about this research-backed approach.

First Strategy: Reidentify with Your Core Values

Resource Alert

To help you put this strategy into practice, we’ve created a writing activity. Give it a try – it’s designed to support your journey.

  • If the narcissist in your life is someone you haven’t always had a relationship with (e.g., a romantic partner), write down the values you lived before you met them.
  • If the narcissist in your life is someone you’ve always had a relationship with (e.g., a family member), write down the values you lived/live when you weren’t/aren’t around them.
  • Ask yourself: “What was I doing in the narcissistic relationship or around the narcissist in my life that wasn’t me?”

Second Strategy: Listen to Your Body

Third Strategy: Observe and Emulate People Who Are Your Value’s Models

Resource Alert

To help you put this strategy into practice, we’ve created a writing activity. Give it a try – it’s designed to support your journey.

1.) Create a List of People You Admire:

  • Identify individuals whom you admire. These can be public figures, personal acquaintances, or even fictional characters.
  • For each person on your list, write down specifically what qualities or achievements you admire about them. 
  • Be as detailed as possible in your descriptions.

2.) Reflect on Your Values (from Strategy Number 1):

  • Refer to the list of values you created in the first strategy. This list should include the principles and standards that are important to you and guide your life.

3.) Compare and Analyze:

  • Compare the qualities you admire in others with your own values list.
  • Look for overlaps or disparities between what you admire in others and your values.
  • Consider why you admire these qualities in others and how they align or differ from your value system.

4.) Insight and Growth:

  • Reflect on any insights gained from this comparison. It can help in understanding what you prioritize in yourself and others.
  • Use this reflection as a tool for personal growth, identifying areas in your values or aspirations you might want to develop further.

Fourth Strategy: See Your Values

Fifth Strategy: Practice Your Values In the World

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